Finding your FIERCE!

It should be a truth universally acknowledged that all women are born fierce but some more so than others!  The real question for those women in particular, who have not quite honed their skills of embracing their fierce, is how?  So here would be your guide

Fierce, if defined would really be like turning the notion of confidence on its head and can best be described as a melting pot of sex appeal, charisma, confidence and assertiveness to name a few. It’s the one word that can describe your mood, your look or your personality and is applicable to all women.

So how do you know if you have it, and if you don’t how do you get to unlock your fierce?

Firstly, there is no woman on this planet that is perfectly satisfied with her body and for that reason finding your fierce would quite simply involve focusing on the one thing that you do love about yourself. Then, ladies you practice flaunting it. This may not mean that large-chested lasses should boldly wear sheer blouses to corporate meetings but rather wear the feeling all over your body like being wrapped in a confidence cloak and letting everyone observe you showcasing your fierce!

My advice has always been to put on that pair of shoes that makes you feel fabulous. Whether you can rock a stiletto or a decent heeled pump, walk tall with your shoulders relaxed and invoke the spirit of Naomi Campbell gliding down the runway. There is nothing sexier than a woman’s confidence and this can manifest in any shape or form irrespective of duration. Ladies, this of course does mean that if you are going to pummel the pavement that you should tread lightly as replacing heels are simply an unwanted burden

The image of working girl, Julia Roberts in those unforgettable black boots in the all time classic film, Pretty woman, is not quite the setting I have in mind so it would serve as a caution that there is a limit that is reached with high heels that borders on; invoking your inner-fierce and being mistaken for a prostitute. So therefore, don’t try this on the street as patents’ protruding past the patella is pernicious.

Finding your fierce can be accomplished in every arena of your busy life including work, social or family time. Whether you are a busy mom juggling the kids and all the tasks of the household, to be fierce, simply put on some make up just because you can. Remember – you are still a woman and you deserve to be sexy! Even whilst sorting laundry.

Perhaps you are a driven career woman focused on strategically catapulting your business to greater heights. To be fierce, consider wearing a dress to work that makes you feel invincible (and don’t forget to pair it with the highest stiletto you can find) and most importantly walk like you own everything.   The idea of a power dress is something which you can single handedly redefine and when in doubt, accessorize! As the saying goes in Texas, “the bigger the hair the closer to God you are” and that can only affirm my mantra that “the bolder the print the bigger the bag.”

Finally, when you are out with your friends and you are catching up on old times, to be fierce, have a tequila shot with the girls during dinner just because you can and embrace your naughty inner-child…up until you grab the water to douse the burning sensation making its way down your throat.

I recall a wonderful moment in the office when my co-worker arrived at work decked out in her tightest fitting jeans (naturally emphasizing her best ass-et) and wearing her favorite black patent leather pumps with a silver heel. She called me over and like a child who had been caught red-handed stealing from the cookie jar pointed underneath the table. To my delight I assumed she was merely pointing out her shoes (which of course I secretly wanted for my own) but that feeling of joy was quickly replaced by horror.

The right heel had been trampled inward so that the shoe looked like a badly constructed ballet pump.  After recovering from laughter she did the most admirable thing…got up and sashayed to her desk reminding me of Russian Victoria Secret model Natasha Poly, who continued down the runway after losing a shoe which fell off  as she started walking.  She served confidence from every angle so effortlessly that one only realised the shoe fell off once the camera zoomed in. If ever I could encapsulate the meaning of being ‘fierce’ it would be in that moment, similar to Natasha, watching (although slightly lopsided) my colleague balance her left heeled foot with her right flat pump on the ball of her foot.

Techniques of how to unlock your fierce are few and far between but in every scenario that you may face in your life it requires a certain state of mind meaning each woman will always be fierce in her own unique way but all exude confidence (albeit subtle in some) like pheromones excreted by queen bees.  In every example of life that we may face whether we potentially doubt ourselves, unfairly compare ourselves to other woman or set ridiculous standards we know virtually impossible to live up to we have a choice in how we will allow situations to affect us. Being fierce means adopting a mental image of yourself as a powerful and strong sensual woman who is statuesque and brave. Whether we truly believe this about ourselves when starting this mental exercise is irrelevant because the power of our minds to shift past any personal shortcoming  or circumstance makes us powerful beings incapable of being torn down unless self-inflicted.

Ladies, we all have that one friend who no matter what she eats (or shovels) never seems to gain weight who unlike us after enjoying a meal feel like bone-fide bloatation devices! We secretly love to hate them because it takes our mind off the guilt we feel  for loving food and alas when you discover the best remedy for guilt is chocolate, you quickly realise you are stuck in a vicious cycle.

The best way to break this unforgiving cycle is to look at yourself and acknowledge one thing you love about yourself (even if it is just one) and focusing on that quality or feature and most importantly remembering it when you feel a little low. I know that I have provided practical ways to enhance your confidence levels which I know will have an effect on the image you present to the world but finding your fierce is also about your internal state of mind. Practical ways of unlocking that inner vixen within you lean toward this practice becoming a habit and before you know it, the feeling that you enjoy with having made slight aesthetic changes becomes a natural way of life. Once this effect have taken place and your natural confidence levels are higher than what you, your friend and family remember them to be will be your sign that you have embraced your inner self and have found and unlocked your inner fierce!


Written by friend and colleague: Self-Appointed ELLE Girl Darion Pillay

inspired by ME